


Hope's Peak Online Academy

by Ha_Haha_Hahahaha



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: I seem to use the word 'notorious' a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3833077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ha_Haha_Hahahaha/pseuds/Ha_Haha_Hahahaha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU in which Hope's Peak Academy is an online platform. The "mutual termination" fiasco isn't as successful as it would have been if the people participating were flesh and blood students.</p><p>Humor based, so if you're looking for some in-depth characterization, I'd leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope's Peak Online Academy

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here's my first Ao3 fic, I suppose. Writing Fukawa and Chihiro's dialogue was bit difficult, mainly because I refrained from having them stutter over the internet, though I suppose I didn't erase their entire character by doing so.

Makoto Naegi stared at his computer screen, his mind full of both apprehension and hopefulness. He had the tab open, and he was sure he had filled out all of the required information for acceptance and registration. Now all he had to do was gain the confidence to type a message in the chat box in order to introduce himself to his fellow students.

Yes, fellow students. You see, he was not on any ordinary social media website. He was on Hope's Peak Online Academy's official website, where students excelling in all sorts of internet-related fields could be set on a path of education, success, and...well, hope. The name spells it out for you.

However, you couldn't slide your way in just by having 1,000 followers on Twitter for make-up and fashion tips. Oh no, you had to be almost famous in terms of your internet status, essentially the best of the best. That's why each student would be given the "Ultimate" title, as they were the "ultimate" at whatever they spent their time doing on the world-wide web. The academy would shoot one round of acceptance letters to different people a year, treating them as classes that would graduate at the same time. If they signed a contract and payed the admission fee through PayPal, a login username and password was given to them, and they were immediately dropped out of the school they were previously attending.

Naegi was...different than the rest, in this case. Along with the notorious internet-dwellers, one "lurker" was accepted. They judged this by writing down the IP addresses of all the unfamiliar people who had visited their websites in the past, and picking one at random. Therefore, whoever was picked would be referred to as the "Ultimate Lurker". An unflattering title, if you asked Naegi, though he was still very thankful to be chosen. It didn't necessarily benefit his courage in introducing himself to his new, much more renowned classmates, however.

Minutes passed by, and there was still now response. Well, there was no exact time set for when classes start, and time-zones were an issue too, but as far he knew, there were no conversations occurring previously. To make matters worse, there wasn't one of those side-bars that notified you of who was currently logged on and such.

At some point, he grew tired of waiting for something to be initiated for him. It seemed like nothing would ever start unless he said something first. So, with a lot of ado and hesitation, he typed up an awkward message.

Makoto_Naegi (The default username was always your actual name, to avoid confusion): Uh...hey? Anyone here?

Not more than five seconds later.

Aoi_Asahina: Hey! Someone finally posted! What's up? c:

The first reply was neither electrifying or dull, but it did happen to make Naegi perk up out of anticipation.

Makoto_Naegi: I'm good. Just, you know, new education and all.

Aoi_Asahina: Aha, I know! It's so exciting. I think this year will be great online and all. That reminds me, I'm the Ultimate Role Model!

Makoto_Naegi: That's cool. I guess we need more role-models.

Aoi_Asahina: Yeah...girls tend to look up to me because I'm pretty optimistic on all the sites I have accounts on! I guess it's pretty inspiring to people who are going through depression and are self-harming and all, you know? They even have a name for themselves!

Makoto_Naegi: What is it?

Aoi_Asahina: Asahinuts.

Makoto_Naegi: I get it. They're "nuts" for you.

Aoi_Asahina: That, and I really like doughnuts!

Makoto_Naegi: Oh.

Come to think of it, Naegi had encountered Asahina somewhere before over the internet, though he wasn't familiar with he due to her more female-based audience. He remembered seeing a picture of her with a doughnut in her mouth, which now made perfect sense of the explanation she had just given him for her fanbase's title for themselves. She must have been notorious for her apparent love of doughnuts.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Classmate! As much as I'd wish to use my first post an inspiring remark on the educational crusade we will be embarking on, please tag your reply with "self-harming or depression mention"! We don't want anyone to be disturbed in this sort of environment!

Aoi_Asahina: Uhhhhhh, hey? And we can't really tag our chats here.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Edit the post and put a warning at the beginning, then!

Aoi_Asahina: I'll keep that in mind later?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: *huff* Very well. We all can learn from our mistakes, right? That's definitely possible!

This guy seemed fairly serious, and not to mention mindful of other people's concerns. Naegi wondered if he'd be the same way if Hope's Peak was an actual, built from the ground, school.

Makoto_Naegi: So...your talent must be something to do with tags?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Yes, but not exclusively!

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: I am the Ultimate Internet Police! Keeping the web a safe place ever since I was given my first computer!

Makoto_Naegi: I think I saw one of your posts once...

Makoto_Naegi: Something like "tag your Karkat Vantas hate!".

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Haha, that probably was me! I do a lot of those kinds of posts! We don't want another fandom war over Tumblr, do we?

Aoi_Asahina: Gee, that sounds like you're keeping in internet a real safe place. :P

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Hey, hey, don't get all sarcastic! I'm only doing what's necessary!

Junko_Enoshima: Is it necessary to end all of your sentences with an exclamation point?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: YES IT IS! IT'S A VERY EFFECTIVE WAY OF GETTING ONE'S POINT ACROSS.

Now that was a familiar name to Naegi. Junko Enoshima. His sister would implement her into conversations at the dinner table frequently, always blabbing about how comedic and helpful she was in her video-logs (Named vlogs by the entire internet population). It didn't really interest Naegi, but he listened enough to recognize the name when he saw it. Someone else would probably recognize it too.

Aoi_Asahina: *gasps* Junko Enoshima! :O

Well, that confirmed Naegi's suspicions.

Junko_Enoshima: Heya!

Aoi_Asahina: I can't believe the top vlogger is here! The Ultimate Vlogger!

Junko_Enoshima: We're all top something aren't we? XD It's kinda weird seeing that another "top" is a fan of me, really, though, I guess I am Junko Enoshima.

Makoto_Naegi: I've heard of you before. My sister's a big fan.

Junko_Enoshima: Aw, that's sweet.

Junko_Enoshima: How about you, Mister Exclamations?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: I was defending you not too long ago! A bunch of reckless males were gathering photographs!

Junko_Enoshima: Uh...say no more.

Sayaka_Maizono: I get a lot of that nude stuff too. :P Not fun.

Junko_Enoshima: I know, right? It's pretty annoying...wait, hold up! It's Sayaka Maizono!

Aoi_Asahina: You too?!

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Salutations, classmate!

Makoto_Naegi: Oh, hey Maizono.

Makoto_Naegi: Wait, MAIZONO?! WHAT.

Naegi had to grapple on to the arms of his chair to keep himself from falling off. The feeling of anxiety had returned to him once again (Not that it entirely left anyway, but what he had lost had relapsed in full force). Truth is, not all of his fellow classmates were necessarily strangers to him.

Sayaka_Maizono: Do I know you?

Makoto_Naegi: Yes you do!

Makoto_Naegi: I mean you don't really!

Makoto_Naegi: But you kinda do!

Makoto_Naegi: Oh god...

Sayaka_Maizono: I was just playing with you, Naegi! Haha!

Aoi_Asahina: You two know each other...?

Sayaka_Maizono: Yup! Well, kind of. We were each other's very first Facebook friends!

Junko_Enoshima: Whoa. That's like, one of your first achievements over the Internet.

Sayaka_Maizono: Yeah, who knew I'd become the Ultimate Cover Artist someday?

Junko_Enoshima: Must be an honor to be told that your covers are better than the original songs.

Sayaka_Maizono: I know. That almost never happens!

And so Naegi faded into the background of the conversation awkwardly. That is, until he was roped back in by Ishimaru.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Naegi, is this true?

Makoto_Naegi: uh, yes, It is.

(EDITED) Makoto_Naegi: Uh, yes. It is.

Makoto_Naegi: Who just did that?

Junko_Enoshima: Exclamations?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: I was not responsible for that!

Aoi_Asahina: Haha guys. Its no big deal.

(EDITED) Aoi_Asahina: Haha guys. It's no big deal.

Aoi_Asahina: Alright, who edited the posts?!

Junko_Enoshima: This isn't some supernatural shit, is this?

Sayaka_Maizono: Maybe it's a joke played by the headmaster?

Sayaka_Maizono: Or maybe one of us is just being persnickety.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: The latter is the closest thing to the correct answer, yes.

Aoi_Asahina: Were you lurking? -_-

Kyouko_Kirigiri: A bit. Not enough to become the Ultimate Lurker though.

Naegi wanted to say that the title of the Ultimate Lurker belonged to him, but his confidence still drooped far down enough so that a mystical force inside his brain (Or maybe his fingers. He couldn't tell) prevented him from doing so.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: All of us were lurking at some point or another anyway, so it's a baseless argument to begin with.

Aoi_Asahina: I guess you have a point. :/

Junko_Enoshima: Why did you edit the posts then?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: Just a way to test my abilities on this site.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: And you did make a grammar mistake, though it's no huge deal either way.

Makoto_Naegi: So...what's your talent then?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: ...

Kyouko_Kirigiri: ...

Kyouko Kirigiri: I don't particularly remember anything that was said on the letter.

Sayaka_Maizono: I'm leaning toward Ultimate Post Editor at this point, to be honest.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I'd say that's pretty far-fetched.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: You don't remember your talent? I suppose it won't get in the way of your education too much, but it's still fairly blasphemous.

Junko_Enoshima: Don't worry guys. You can't expect everyone to remember details like that, right?

Makoto_Naegi: This doesn't seem like just a little detail to me...

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I'll find it out at some point. I could easily go back to see the letter later, of course.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Talent can only be found by gaining rabies from city rats and biting your taxi driver because of it.

And yet another person had integrated themselves into the conversation.

Sayaka_Maizono: Uh...hehe, I guess?

Aoi_Ashina: I don't think I get it...

Junko_Enoshima: What kind of a joke was that?

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: That was great, wasn't it?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: It was great attempt at posting something that has absolutely no relevance at all, but other than that...it was just bad.

Makoto_Naegi: Er, ^^

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: I told you!

Aoi_Asahina: What do you mean?

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: I guess I should clarify a bit...my talent is all about stupid things. That's why they call me the Ultimate Spammer!

A silence fell over the crowd, until Asahina decided to start the conversation again.

Aoi_Asahina: I think I've heard of you before. You're known as that "weird guy" on YouTube. :P

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Sounds like me! You know, you never realize how satisfying it is to be stupidly random until you practically make an internet career out of it!

Makoto_Naegi: It sounds like a typical thing a high school student would do.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Well, uh, plot twist! I'm actually 21. I guess the more life experience you've had, the more capacity there is for jokes like that.

Byakuya_Togami: Now that's just pathetic.

Junko_Enoshima: Where did you come from?

Enoshima had a point, Naegi thought. No one really cared for properly introducing themselves apparently.

Byakuya_Togami: I opened up the website, I typed a message in, and it was done. It's not hard to comprehend.

Aoi_Asahina: Well gee, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: You never know what that saying means until you either walk into a pit of weed, or a pit of nasty bitches.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Er.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Just utilizing my talent. Ha.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Errrrr...Kirigiri, do you mind...using your current ability?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: You're kidding me. Edit the post yourself.

(EDITED) Yasuhiro_Hagakure: You never know what that saying means until you either walk into a pit of kale, or a pit of fluffy kittens.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Much more acceptable! If you put in "drug and sexism mention" at the beginning of your post in parentheses, I wouldn't have to do that! Reading back on the posts could have prevented this! Do any of you do that?

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Uh...sorry, but no.

Sayaka_Maizono: Not really.

Aoi_Asahina: Nope.

Junko_Enoshima: Eh.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: Only if it's necessary.

Byakuya_Togami: Do you think I want to waste my time?

Sayaka_Maizono: Only to check if anyone asked me a question.

Makoto_Naegi: I guess if I can, but I was the first to post, so no.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Okay then! I'll keep this in mind to...uh...track progress!

Byakuya_Togami: "Progress"? We're not elementary school students waiting for golden stars.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Random dude has a point.

Byakuya_Togami: Random? Am I not supposed to be here?

Touko_Fukawa: N-No, no, s-s-stay here!

Aoi_Asahina: Make that a random chick too.

Yeah, a simple "hello" was definitely out of the question in this case.

Byakuya_Togami: Fine. I'll give you guys an introduction.

Byakuya_Togami: I am the Ultimate Debate Initiator.

Sayaka_Maizono: So, you start arguments? That sounds like a pretty lousy talent to me.

Junko_Enoshima: That's just a fancy way of saying that you're the Ultimate Troll.

Byakuya_Togami: I don't think it's wrong to modify a title that describes your position crudely. All I do is point out the utmost idiocy of others. I'm not "trolling" anything.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: You could always leave those people to be idiots by themselves.

Byakuya_Togami: If I catch something miserable, I'll find it worth it to respond until they recognize their position.

Touko_Fukawa: T-That's a g-good idea. T-There are a lot o-of cretins on t-the i-internet...

Junko_Enoshima: Jesus girl, you don't need to stutter on here. :P

Touko_Fukawa: L-Like you even c-care.

Makoto_Naegi: Why don't you start by telling us your talent then.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Yeah! Don't be shy! To be shy is

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: I can't think of anything.

Touko_Fukawa: Ugh. I'm the Ultimate Advice Giver.

Junko_Enoshima: See, it's easier to type this way!

Touko_Fukawa: Ergh.

Aoi_Asahina: That sounds an awful lot like my talent.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: I think that's great! Having extra motivators will be a great benefit this year!

Byakuya_Togami: I think it's pointless.

Sayaka_Maizono: You're pretty negative, aren't you?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: Don't say anymore, Maizono.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: His talent comes from responses to comments like that.

Byakuya_Togami: Tch.

Naegi had no qualms about having another "inspirational" person in the group, though the presence of a person who was allegedly known for planting seeds of debate in conversations was pretty unnerving. Plus, he didn't think this Fukawa person fit the bill for the typical adviser. If anything, she seemed like the person who would have the advice given to her.

Makoto_Naegi: What kind of advice to you give, Fukawa?

Touko_Fukawa: What do you mean?

Makoto_Naegi: Like, do what topics do you give advice on? Asahina gives more motivational messages to people. What do you give?

Touko_Fukawa: I don't want to say it in front of all of you.

Touko_Fukawa: It's worthless anyway.

Makoto_Naegi: Uh...alrighty then.

Aoi_Asahina: Aw, don't be like that! Say what you need!

Touko_Fukawa: I don't need to say what I do. It's not necessary and it never will be so don't ask.

Sayaka_Maizono: Oh! I know who you are!

Touko_Fukawa: Er.

Sayaka_Maizono: You're one of the writers for that forum for high school students.

Touko_Fukawa: ER.

Sayaka_Maizono: You're the person who gives out the romance tips! You've helped one of my friends so much!

Touko_Fukawa: SHUT UP.

Touko_Fukawa: You just did that to embarrass me, didn't you?

Sayaka_Maizono: No! Not at all! I'm just saying that because you're pretty important, you know?

Touko_Fukawa: No I'm not.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Don't say that! Every student here is important!

Aoi_Asahina: Yeah! Don't be so down on yourself. It's not good, you know? :c

Byakuya_Togami: I think she's entitled to hate her own flaws as much as she wishes.

(EDITED) Byakuya_Togami: I need to stop asserting my non-existent superiority on to others and be more sociable or else I'll end up in deep trouble later on.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: ;)

Junko_Enoshima: HAHA. That was great.

Byakuya_Togami: You'll all wish you were more like me as the year grows more competitive.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I apologize for the slight hypocrisy, but I believe that it was necessary.

Sakura_Oogami: Hello.

At least someone decided to be formal for once.

Aoi_Asahina: New person! Hi!

Sakura_Oogami: Hello Asahina. If I'm correct, we've been set up as rivals to gain the crown of feminism over the internet, though I don't see the point in fighting you, virtually or physically.

Aoi_Asahina: Well that's kinda weird...I think I've heard of that! What's your talent then?

Sakura_Oogami: I am...the Ultimate Girl.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Your talent is having a vagina?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: ...

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Dude, chill. We're in highschool for god's sake!

Makoto_Naegi: I thought you said you were 21?

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Oh...right, but seriously, Ishi! Our kind talks about vaginas all the time!

Junko_Enoshima: *facepalm*

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Oh, it's no big deal...I won't make a tirade out of it! Just don't mention "bitches" again, and everyone will go unoffended! Yes, that's where I'll draw the line for the profanity rule that will be set soon!

Byakuya_Togami: You're unrealistic dedication is...almost admirable.

Sakura_Oogami: Ignoring the conversation that happened after the vulgar man asked me his question, no. Not exactly. You see, I'm a member on many athletic's sites with a majorly male following. I have been known as "one of them", but seeing how I am a girl, and a strong one at that, I am much more renowned than them.

Aoi_Asahina: Ahhhh, that's cool!

Kyouko_Kirigiri: So you're basically a strong, independent woman.

Sakura_Oogami: Yes. I'd like to think I'm strong and independent, but I also happen to have a male partner.

Touko_Fukawa: I think that a girl shouldn't have to be strong to be known as a feminist figure.

Touko_Fukawa: It's a bit unfair for the rest of us.

Byakuya_Togami: Sorry, but the world was not made to accommodate you.

Touko_Fukawa: I know...

Leon_Kuwata: Whoa. Looks like I came while someone was kinda being a dick. :P

Kyouko_Kirigiri: Precisely.

Leon_Kuwata: Damn.

Leon_Kuwata: I guess I should probably introduce myself. I'm the Ultimate Viner!

Sayaka_Maizono: Vines are those little comedic videos, right? I've seen some good ones before!

Junko_Enoshima: I see people link them on Instagram.

Leon_Kuwata: Yeah, those are the ones! I have this really sweet one where I hit a home-run on a baseball field while playing Don't Stop Believing on my guitar at the same time! The ball hit my dad in the audience...but hey!

Naegi felt compelled to reveal that he had replayed the vine at least twenty times in one day, and at least fifty times with his friends the day after when they found it, but he felt that the others would laugh at him for it, so he held his tongue.

Sakura_Oogami: That takes an exceptional amount of athletic ability. I commend you for it.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I'm calculating on how that's even possible.

Leon_Kuwata: Yeah, I get that a lot! I don't even get any satisfaction out of hitting home-runs! The rock song in the background was the best part, to be honest. It was pretty fucking awesome.

Leon_Kuwata: Wait, am I allowed to swear and stuff? I saw something about how I can't say "bitches" or something.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Well, I haven't sorted out the details of the rule yet, but for now, refrain yourself!

Mondo_Oowada: Hey. Nice to fucking meet you guys. I'm the Ultimate...Rager.

Mondo_Oowada: I don't fucking take people's trolly crap over here.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Okay, if he doesn't get a hardcore penalization for that, I call bull.

Mondo_Oowada: For what?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Newcomer, please read back just a bit, and you'll see! Kuwata did this!

Mondo_Oowada: I'll do whatever I fucking want to.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Complying with my orders is almost a necessity! I want to keep Hope's Peak Academy's morals intact!

Mondo_Oowada: Shut the FUCK up. I don't need someone to tell me what I can or can't do, follow orders and everything. That's bullshit.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Hmm.

Junko_Enoshima: I think you've broken Exclamations.

Aoi_Asahina: It was a sad defeat.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: It was not a defeat! I won't be defeated by a rebel! Or at least...not for long!

Mondo_Oowada: You keep telling yourself that.

Leon_Kuwata: Eh, so are the rules lifted?

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: If you wish...I'll allow you to speak as you wish, for now, but as the studies commence, a rule is necessary! Foul language can become a habit!

Leon_Kuwata: Alright...Exclamations.

With Oowada's arrival, the tension in the chat rose considerably. Naegi didn't know when or what to contribute. He didn't want to make a comment on how Oowada's title fit him like a glove (He was surprised Togami didn't say something about it already). Waiting seemed like the best option.

Sayaka_Maizono: Unless it's harsh language, I think we should all be okay...I think.

Aoi_Asahina: Yeah, I don't think anyone here "can't handle it". Even the shyest ones are fine with it.

Touko_Fukawa: That was directed at me, wasn't it?

Aoi_Asahina: Oh, not really. I was just saying.

Touko_Fukawa: Yeah, of course you say that.

Touko_Fukawa: I'm always the shy one, aren't I?

Sakura_Oogami: Currently, you almost seem too outspoken, but shyness can come in different forms. Not all people are meek.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: Yeah...not all people are.

This seemed like a good place to jump in.

Makoto_Naegi: Hey! Uh...what's your talent?

Chihiro_Fujisaki: I'm the Ultimate Help Desk.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: Yeah, people just come to me for help with their technology. It's not very grand.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: I've gained a following for it, though.

Byakuya_Togami: Well, at least we finally have someone who holds useful information. Not any overly sentimental garbage about person problems.

Aoi_Asahina: What was that?

Byakuya_Togami: Read the reply a few more times and I'm sure you'll comprehend it.

Mondo_Oowada: Don't talk to girls like that, motherfucker.

Mondo_Oowada: I said I wasn't taking any trolly crap.

Byakuya_Togami: Looks like I've done it again.

Byakuya_Togami: Kirigiri, you edit my post now. I won't mind.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Alright, who wants to tie this guy up?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: We're over the internet.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: I'm just saying...maybe we could do it virtually?

Leon_Kuwata: If only we could do that.

Mondo_Oowada: Yeah, maybe a good punch in the FUCKING FACE would do him good too.

Tension is getting higher...

Makoto_Naegi: Um.

Makoto_Naegi: We shouldn't do that.

Makoto_Naegi: We're a class now, remember? We've only just met.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: I agree with Naegi...

Junko_Enoshima: Eh, ditto.

Sayaka_Maizono: Yeah, Naegi's right. We don't want to start a flame war. We aren't all drunk in a poker match, right?

Sakura_Oogami: Fighting is only necessary in critical circumstances and in matches. This is neither.

Celestia_Ludenberg: Hehehe, it seems that I entered at a bad time, haven't I?

And it broke, or at least Naegi hoped it did.

Celestia_Ludenberg: Don't worry. I'm usually prepared for situations where tension is high. After all, I am the Ultimate Online Solitaire Player.

Celestia_Ludenberg: Believe it or not, it's probably the most stressful talent there is.

Leon_Kuwata: Even higher than the Ultimate Rager?

Celestia_Ludenberg: Most likely. My bank account is always at stake after all.

Leon_Kuwata: What about your friends list though?

Celestia_Ludenberg: Excuse me?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I don't think it's a wise idea to ask a person who makes a living off of winning online solitaire games if their friends list is at stake.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Yeah, the name's kind of intimidating. Kinda sounds like someone in one of those, uh, "adult magazines".

Kyouko_Kirigiri: That wasn't my point.

And it's back, unfortunately.

Celestia_Ludenberg: Hehehe, that's charming.

Celestia_Ludenberg: But you're probably going to regret saying that someday, since I knew exactly what you meant.

Celestia_Ludenberg: Call me Celes.

Aoi_Asahina: Noted?

Touko_Fukawa: Is that even your real name?

Celestia_Ludenberg: Yes, it is. That's my final word on the matter.

Naegi wished he had encountered some information on the mysterious girl sometime on the internet, but her field was more off the typical path of most students. She seemed like the "real deal". Almost, anyway. He somehow felt sympathy for Hagakure also.

Hifumi_Yamada: Oooh, Celes! I like that name. One of my favorite shonen manga characters of all time has the same name!

Celestia_Ludenberg: It's sweet of you to compliment me, but I must say that I don't want to be associated with a fictional being.

Hifumi_Yamada: She's really cool though! Here, I'll upload a pic if I can!

Leon_Kuwata: Is she waifu material?

Hifumi_Yamada: Gyah, yes. Of course.

Hifumi_Yamada: Oh, foolish me! I forgot to introduce myself! I'm both the start and the finish. The beginning and the end. The Ultimate Fanboy! Also known as the Ultimate Kawaii-Desu Doki Doki by the Tumblr community, if you wish! Though it kinda takes out my creative spirit and replaces it with something duller, I have no qualms with it.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: I'll go with the former, if you don't mind.

Sayaka_Maizono: I second that.

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: The latter certainly has more flare, but I'm afraid that I'll have to refer to you as the first for...reasons.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: I kinda like the second one though! It has a nice ring to it!

Byakuya_Togami: For someone who is twenty-one years old, you sure have the mentality of a five year old.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Hey! That just means I have the spirit of youth in me, right?

Byakuya_Togami: No. It just means you should grow up before adult life becomes a pain for you.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: For the first time this day, I actually find myself agreeing with you, Togami.

Hifumi_Yamada: Aw well. I guess it's more fitting anyway.

Makoto_Naegi: I think that's all of us? We've all introduced ourselves.

Junko_Enoshima: I think we're good.

Well, that was that. Naegi got through that whole deal, and he didn't even have to mention his talent.

Aoi_Asahina: WAIT.

Aoi_Asahina: Naegi, you didn't even mention your talent yet! And you were the first one here too!

Looks like I spoke too soon.

As you probably would expect from him, Naegi didn't want to say it, but with the sense that all 14 other eyes were on him, he was now obligated to do so.

Makoto_Naegi: I'm, ugh.

Mondo_Oowada: Spill it all fucking ready. It can't be that bad, can it?

Makoto_Naegi: I'm The Ultimate Lurker. I got here because I was lurking on the page.

No one responded for a second. This didn't help Naegi's heartbeat at all.

Aoi_Asahina: Well that's kind of...wow.

Sayka_Maizono: Wouldn't say I'm surprised...sorry.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: They still do that?

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Ultimate Spammer doesn't seem too bad now.

Leon_Kuwata: Yeah, no kidding.

Mondo_Oowada: Same thing with Ultimate Rager.

Junko_Enoshima: Kinda weird thing to have, don't you think?

Byakuya_Togami: You didn't seem that notorious anyway.

Celestia_Ludenberg: My, it's unfortunate that you were stuck with that title.

Hifumi_Yamada: That sounds like a complete stalker's title!

Sakura_Oogami: You are still a kind man, but your "talent" is questionable.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: I guess having just old luck isn't too bad, um.

Touko_Fukawa: It's still better than giving love advice...

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: Congratulations! It's encouraging to see an ordinary human being among the talented!

Makoto_Naegi: Uh...thanks.

That was most definitely a load off his chest.

Aoi_Asahina: Okay, NOW we're done.

Byakuya_Togami: Good. I'll be only replying to this chat if necessary from this point on, so don't bother trying to reach me.

Touko_Fukawa: I'll be doing the same thing!

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: I was hoping we could get the rule debate settled, but I suppose I can spend more time studying. Online courses open tomorrow, I'm sure, so that's be a good way to spend my time.

Junko_Enoshima: Finally, you dropped the exclamation point for a whole reply.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I'll be double-checking the letter. If any of you remember, I couldn't quite recall my talent.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: ...

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I'm not able to open another tab.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: I think I can help with this. Is anything else frozen?

Kyouko_Kirigiri: No...I can't get out of this one either.

Leon_Kuwata: I can't get out of mine either!

Celestia_Ludenberg: And I'm afraid I can't do the same for mine.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: This is...some weird stuff man.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: Oh god.

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: WHAT IF IT'S A GHOST?! I HATE GHOSTS.

Byakuya_Togami: You're not making yourself seem anymore mature than you already are.

Naegi tried exiting out of the page himself. Didn't work.

He clicked another time. Sadly no result.

Third time's the charm? No such luck.

Then, out of nowhere, perhaps Hagakure became correct for once.

Monokuma: HIYA KIDS. I'm Monokuma, catering toward all your Monokuma needs! Crave that Monokuma. Cus Monokuma gonna give it to you! Hoe don't Monokuma. Well, actually, please do!

Junko_Enoshima: Did you just meme on us?

Yasuhiro_Hagakure: SEE. I TOLD YOU.

Sakura_Oogami: Calm yourself. It could send out a virus if we aggravate it.

Junko_Enoshima: Yo! Help Desk person! Can you like get it out or something.

Chihiro_Fujisaki: I don't think I can..

Monokuma: Hey! I was just about to give a speech! How rude!

Monokuma: But yeah, you guys are all trapped in the tab. It's fun, huh? No. That's not the right word. Despairing is more like it. Ha! Despairing enough to make all of you terminate each other's account with this little process I set up? Interesting, huh? Well, you're stuck here forever if you don't follow it so I advise that you all listen.

Mondo_Oowada: MOTHERFUCKERfjaghdlsakjfhlkjhoi3yewiouyroi2uq$^#$! $ esjdhroweu5o$%&^$# $FKAR2R4384923$^%$GFDS Adsjfhkasjhfljhglsjfdhtlkajhldshf# 45

Monokuma: Uh, excuse me? I don't like that kind of tone, Mister!

Makoto_Naegi: I think he just broke his computer.

Leon_Kuwata: Yeah? Well I don't fucking blame him! Asshole, let us out!

Monokuma: Sorry, can't do that.

(EDITED) Monokuma: I am perfectly capable of letting you all out, but I've decided not to do that because I'm just too special.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: Looks like we still can edit each other's posts.

(EDITED) Kyouko_Kirigiri: I'm a fucking bitch.

Monokuma: Upupupu! Right back at you!

Kiyotaka_Ishimaru: DID YOU NOT SEE THE ESTABLISHED BANNING OF THAT WORD?!

Monokuma: Oops, sorry to impinge on your precious guidelines.

Sayaka_Maizono: This isn't good...I have a video to upload!

Junko_Enoshima: Yeah, same! This isn't right!

Celestia_Ludenberg: This is...a crime.

Leon_Kuwata: YEAH. A FUCKING CRIME.

Hifumi_Yamada: This is blasphemy! I may never see my 2-D women again!

Aoi_Asahina: Too far.

And slowly, the chat descended into absolute chaos. Monokuma would thrown in an "Upupupu" ever few lines, as if they were laughing at the despair caused by the technical problem. That is, until Naegi decided to actually take a stand against the somewhat evil "virus".

Makoto_Naegi: GUYS. I HAVE AN IDEA!

Aw yes, he had the floor again.

Makoto_Naegi: How about we...restart a lap-tops. And, like, never open up this page again.

Kyouko_Kirigiri: I like the sound of that idea. I say we test it.

Byakuya_Togami: Agreeing is necessary at times, I've decided.

Touko_Fukawa: I guess so.

No one else responded, most likely because they instantly decided on that one solution. Naegi 1, Monokuma 0.

Monokuma: Hey guys? Guys? Come onnnnn! Don't tell me you actually went with that idea?

Monokuma: Guys? Guyyyyyyys?

Naegi hit the start button on his computer, and restarted without hesitation. Hopefully, there would be no more conversation after he left, but a feeling nagged at him that something would happen while he was gone.

Hey, maybe he'd go back there one of these days to see if the virus known as Monokuma had left, but most likely, everyone else wouldn't be so optimistic. The academy would probably be avoided like a plague from now on.

Maybe lurking on Hope's Peak Online Academy wasn't such a good idea after all.


End file.
